Tough Love

I’ve been checking out a lot of my peers recently. After playing the Singer Songwriter Cape May festival last weekend, I checked out every single one of the 150 artists who played it, with the intention of making connections with anyone whose music I liked. I soon realized that I had some pretty tough criteria when checking out someone online.

If I dig your music, I might subscribe to your newsletter, Like you, Friend you, follow your Twitter feed, subscribe to your Youtube account, add you to my Google+ circles, or send a friendly email. If you keep in touch, I’ll come see you play a show. If you’re really charming, I may buy an album, or help you set up a show in New York. I may, eventually, become a true fan.

None of this will happen, and I may bear a grudge against you forever, if:

– you require a Like to hear your music.
– your only website is a Facebook page and there is no easy link to hear music on it.
– your only website is a Myspace page.
– your only website is a Bandcamp page.
– the only way to hear music on your site is to follow a link to “Buy” it.
– you only have one song on your site.
– your bio includes hyperbole like: “amazing”, “stunning”, “peerless”, “awesome”, “hot”, etc.
– you feature more than one cover song on your site.
– your website is set to autoplay music as soon as the page is opened.
– you have multiple misspellings on the front page of your site. I’m sorry. It’s like a bad tattoo.
– the first 10 seconds of your first tune/video bore me. I’m REALLY sorry. That’s all you get in this day and age.

What’d I miss?